To tutor or not to tutor? That is the question

The news story of interest today was about private tutors. Should they be allowed? Could and should exams be made tutor proof?

To me, who never had a private tutor, the answer is simple. Yes they should be allowed.

It's like saying Footballers should not be allowed to train. They should just turn up play the game, and go back home and sit with their families, until its time to get up for the next game. And of course this applies not just to other athletes, but doctors, surgeons, and actors.

Imagine actors not being allowed to rehearse. They can read the script of course, but they are not allowed to say anything aloud until they are on stage, or in front of the camera.

What if brain surgeons were given lessons in how to perform certain operations, but were not allowed to practice, because it would give them an advantage over other that had fewer brains to practice on. And an even bigger advantage over people like me, that have never seen or touched a brain.

Do the parents who do not hire private tutors for their children resent those that do? Probably not.

So what does this news item tell us?

It tells us that these officials, often council officials, actually have nothing to do. They are in an over paid 'empty' job. If they did not keep coming out with these crazy statements, someone would eventually realise that they were sat behind a big empty desk in a nice warm office, doing nothing but waiting for the next pay cheque to go into the bank.

I think anyone who has the time to come up with such crazy ideas, should have their job closely scrutinised, and if they do not have enough real work. GET RID OF THEM. Make them redundant and either reduce my taxes or spend the savings on something more worthwhile.


I came from no special privileged background, and i never had a tutor. We lived on a rough council estate and my parents divorced when I was 10. I was usually in the school playground by 8 so that i could play cricket and football with my friends until the bell went at 9.

I loved school meals, and enjoyed the lessons, even though I was no better than average in the early years. My friends an I did all the things kids should and should not do. Suddenly at about 14 everything clicked into place and I soared towards the top of the class in the sciences. I got my 5 GCE's and went on to College to do my A levels.

I did really well in the first year, but in the long summer holiday misfortune struck. I discovered girls and chess.

I spent the whole of the 2 nd year playing as much chess as I could and enjoying girls as much as I could. I passed my A level Chemistry exam but failed the others.

With my one A level, I went to Polytechnic, rather than the University I had hoped for. I had a fantastic time, not only were there more girls there than I had ever seen, I had more freedom to play more chess, I could go away and play weekend tournaments. I also discovered BEER.

I had the best 12 month social life ever, but sadly my academic studies took 4 th place and I failed my end of year exams, and had to get a job.

The chemical company sent me to night school. I got my head together, worked hard, and knocked off my exams one by one, until I had my degree.

During 1979, my company hired some lab space at a local university and sent me to do the work there. The staff got to know me, saw how I worked, and based on that, suggested I would be a good candidate to do a PhD.

Their decision was based on what they saw in me, not my parents, or contacts.

I gave up work and became a student.

The discipline I gained from being in full time employments made life as a research student, easy.

Those that may have had private tutors, and sailed smoothly through O levels, A levels and a degree found the freedom of being a research student far more difficult to cope with.

The combination of my industrial experience plus my qualification made it very easy for me to get a job.

Those that had no industrial experience, found it much more difficult

Because of this I can see how having a private tutor can be a disadvantage in the long run!

So its horses for courses. Oh no that's Tesco, isn't it!

The Cardboard Bicycle

Today's Blog is going to be quite short, because the article and video I am going to point you to, says it all.

It is about inventor Izhar Gafn, he has made a bike out of recycled cardboard which he says can be made for about 9USD

You can see the article HERE

There is also a video worth watching

On behalf of Prison Widow, we have now registered the domain names

prisonwidow.co.uk

prisonersfamiliesvoices.co.uk

and

prisonersfamiliesvoices.com


So, typing any of these into your browser, will now take you to her Blog

As I said yesterday, the Paper Training Group met and made some key decisions about its future. More about that in the future!

Finally I have been messing around with Amazon.

While I was writing some of the course material for the Paper Technical Certificates I was told that I had to provide a 'suggested reading list'.

It is very difficult to find such specialist books in the regular corner book store  so I had the idea of searching out the most relevant books, setting up an Amazon Shop with links to them, and letting the students read the reviews, and buy them if they wished.

I had no idea just how many books there are about paper. I started listing History books, for the UK, then for NON-UK, then I found some books about hand made paper, I thought it would be fun to list them. Then by accident I spotted a book on Origami, so I thought it would be fun to list a few of those. I was flabbergasted to find books on 'adult' Origami!!!

My next task, (later today), is to add the section on the technical aspects of papermaking..

I have put all this as a page on my website, which is now back up and working thanks to Magic Simon!

In case any of you would like to view it, I have put a link at the top right hand corner of this Blog page just above my photograph.

Have a fun day

Money: A necessary evil?

This morning I had not a clue what I was going to write about today. Shortly I am off to a meeting of the Paper Training Group. I had thought about writing about that.

Then as I watched the news, an idea sprang from nowhere, when I saw a news item about a 3-minute workout being all the exercise the body needs.

My train of thought went as follows.

If that is true, then we do not really need all these gyms. So the purpose of the gym, for the owner, is to take our money off us. And the purpose of the gym for us, is to be seen at the gym.

Have you noticed how many people that want to get fit by exercising, DRIVE, to the gym, rather than walk or run!

All this took me back to 1996 when I was made redundant, (or as the Americans say, let-go). I was sent on a course for how to start your own business.

The first thing they pointed out was that businesses are there for only one purpose, to make a profit. That is pretty obvious thing to say if you think about buying food down at the market, a drink in a bar, newspapers or cigarettes. But they pointed out that sometimes we are brainwashed not to see that. Care homes are a good example, but nowhere near the only example.

Whenever we think of care homes we instantly think of elderly people, or people with medical problems that need 24 hour care. Our mind focuses on their welfare. Are the staff friendly? is it warm and comfortable? is the food good and varied? can they have their own privacy if they need it? But the truth of the matter is, the primary aim of the care home is not to look after these people. The primary aim is to make a profit. And it does so BY looking after people.

At one time, schools were there to educate
NOW, there are there to make a profit, BY educating.

I think sometimes, we have to stop and think, and remind ourselves of these things.

On the news last week, they were interviewing couples about the cost of child care. One couple said, 100% of the wife's salary went on the child care fees. So why go out to work? If you stayed at home you would be no worse off financially, you may even be better off, because you will not have the commuting costs, there will be less stress, meeting up with others that have done the same will give you social contact. And someone else, that will benefit from the money more, can have your job. I'm not being sexist here, it could equally well be a man that has the lower paid job.

Last year I saw another programme on TV 'Total Immersion Parenting', I think it was called. They also pointed out how the 'Children' industry has brain washed us to give away our money in exchange for separating us from our children. So we lose in two ways - a double whammy.

Mothers breast fed their children even to the ages of 5 or 6. The programme showed mothers with their children on the local playground. The children ran around for a while, got hot and sweaty and thirsty. When they wanted a drink, they ran up to mummy, who discretely lifted her top and fed them. Then off back to the swings. No artificial colours, flavours or preservatives there! no aluminium cans or plastic bottles to dispose of. No bottles to wash, And it was free!

They did not spend £1000 on a designer pram as many do, that separates mother and baby, they had one of these sash things that keeps the baby close to mum or dads body.

I could go on and on.

But I guess we also have to see the flip side of this coin. If we did not spend all this money, and let them make all this profit,  they would have less money to spend, and so the people that they are buying off, would be out of a job.

The whole point of this diatribe is just to make us stop and think. Sometimes we spend money because we really have to. Sometimes we spend money just because we want to, it makes us feel good. But a lot of the times we spend money because we are brainwashed to do so.

A frustrating day

This is my 29 th post, so far it has not been as difficult as expected. But I have had a frustrating start to my day.

My PaperClassroom website is not working and I have no idea why. When I try to access it, I keep getting asked for a user name and password !

I have another website, related to a different small business that I run, and it has exactly the same problem. I am hoping that the hosting company has not gone broke! Have been trying to contact the person that looks after this stuff for me, but his mobile is off too.

As I sit here I am printing off notes for a course beginning on February 11. I need eleven copies, of 240 double sided pages, so it is going to be a long boring day or two.

Yesterdays Blog got a amazing response, attracting 205 page views, one of my highest ever. I wish I knew why? Was it the pictures?, the Church? the historical content? or the fact that it was real local news/history. If I knew why, i could give you more of it.

ANOTHER QUIRKY HISTORICAL FACT

In the early 1800's America ran out of rags for making paper. An entrepreneurial guy by the name of Augustus Stanwood, from Maine, had a bright idea. He set up a big warehouse and started to import mummies from the middle east.  In those days, when they mummified a typical everyday Jo like you and me, they used about 30 lbs of bandages, (14 kg). His workers were employed to unravel the bandages which they would then sell to the local paper mill.

After several outbreaks of Cholera, the government banned the practice.

St. Johns Church Farnworth

A happy Sunday morning to you all. Above is a picture of the outside of my local Church, The Church of St. John the Evangelist., in Farnworth. My thanks to Peter for both of these pictures.

"What has this to do with Papermaking?", I hear you thinking. Well quite a lot. Buried here is the body of Thomas Bonsar Crompton.

As you may remember from my earlier Blog, the Fourdrinier brothers financed the development of the worlds first successful paper machine, (before they went bankrupt), in the early 1800's.

The problem with this machine was that it only MADE the paper continuously, as the sheet came off the wire, it had to be cut by hand and still dried piece by piece.

Crompton, who was already heavily involved in the cotton industry,  realised that papermaking would go nowhere unless the paper could also be continuously dried, and so he set about inventing a system, the felted drying cylinder.

The town of Farnworth would not have flourished and grown were it not for the paper industry that thrived under his guidance, and the village of Prestolee would never have existed.

The picture above, is the Coat of Arms of Farnworth. The two blue cotton shuttles between the wasps, and the cotton plants above, are in recognition of the part the cotton industry played in the establishment and growth of Farnworth. The three wasps, who are Papermakers themselves, represent the paper industry's contribution.

Crompton was also the first person to use cotton in papermaking, and now cotton is the only fibre used for certain security papers like currency paper.

My Post and the Vagenda Posts

You may all remember that on Monday and Tuesday I was teaching an Introduction to Papermaking Course.

On Wednesday I filled out all the forms and emailed them to the National Skills Academy, and on Friday morning, just after I had posted my Blog  the postman knocked and Hey Presto! the Course Certificates have arrived. They should be with the attendees by Tuesday.

Another course is booked for February, so lets hope everything runs as smoothly.

As you may remember I said that there is usually one question that catches me out. The group did not disappoint me. 

In Papermaking we have a process known as the Calendering Process. Essentially the paper gets squashed between two or more rolls to make it nice and smooth. The question I got was, "where did the name come from". A question no-one had asked before, and I have to admit, I had not thought about it either.

During the lunch beak I Googled it on my iPhone and Wikipedia gave me the answer. I will not bore you with the full story, but it comes ultimately from a Greek word that means cylinder.

I mentioned, that as I was driving to the course venue I was listening to the radio about The Quarter Age Crisis. There was a great story on there about two girls, they had finished Uni, could not get a job, and started to write a Blog. The Blog was essentially criticising the articles in women's magazines which were telling women how they could make themselves more appealing to men!

In less than a year they had 7.5 million hits and a dozen publishers fighting to turn their efforts into a book.

Have a look at The Vagenda

Save the world, Build A Snowman

Could not help laughing when I heard this on the news the other night. The advice is to build snowmen to reduce the flooding risk.

It sounds crazy at first, a picture flashed through my mind. Lines of snowmen across the road, all with long handled brushes or squeegee's pushing back the water as it raced down the main street. A reserve division would be lined up along the pavement edge, pushing back the water as it lapped over the curb. I pictured a heroic snowman throwing himself onto the floor across a doorway, to stop the water, mud and slime from creeping under the door.

Children and little old ladies sat atop the snowmen, waiting for the rescue boats to collect them! Flashing red lights for noses, to attract the attention of the rescue services.

Then reality hit me. I suddenly realised we could not do all this without the permission of the Local Authorities  and all the bureaucracy that it would entail.

Will we need police permission if more than 10 snowmen are gathered in one place?

If a snowman is causing an obstruction, will he be issued with an ASBO or a CRIMBO?

Health and safety issues could be a nightmare
     Will we need to carry out a risk assessment?
     If the snowman is over a certain height will we have to have scaffolding?
     Maybe we will need red & white hazard warning tape or cones?

Will there be an army of assessors around trying to give us NVQ's in snowman building?

When a snowman makes a short quotable remark for broadcasting, will it be termed a frost-bite?

What would we call a group of snowmen?
           A drift of snowmen?
           An avalanche of snowmen?   -- Please send in more ideas via the comments

How would you describe a crazy snowman? Flaky?

Finally, we will have to deal with the councils, the watchdogs of political correctness.

Are we allowed to build only SNOWMEN or to avoid charges of sexism, will we have to build an equal number of SNOWWOMEN

Will we be accused of being racist if we make all our snowpeople white?
Will we also have to make black, brown and yellow ones in proportion to the local demographic ratios ?

Finally, I guess to prevent flooding of some of our supermarkets, they may choose to build Snow horses.

Lies, Dam Lies and the Media

Of course the real quote is Lies, Dam Lies and Statistics.

People have always twisted the numbers to suit their case. For example.

If 20% of all road accidents are caused by drunken drivers then the other 80% are caused by sober drivers. So, clearly, if you drive whilst drunk you are four times less likely to have an accident.

Weather forecasts are right 40% of the time , which means they are wrong 60% of the time. So if you always believe the opposite of what the weather forecast says, you will be right more often than they are.


And now we've got the football match kicking. It appears that before the game the 'victim' had been tweeting that he was going to waste time. But this was rarely mentioned on the news. Then there is the camera angle that all the news programmes chose to run. The shot they chose to run and rerun appeared to show the player kicking the boy. However had they chosen to show the kick from the opposite side, we would have all clearly seen the player kick the ball which was under the boy.

This shot is clearly much less sensational and so less broadcastable.

Once again this activity is aimed at manipulating our minds not educating them.

Another YouTube Milestone

Well it's good to be back home, but  now is the time to do all that admin work that no one else sees.

I woke up at 5 this morning, so, let the dogs out into the back garden, had a coffee and some toast and now I feel fit to go.

First thing I did was to check my YouTube stats as there are some minor milestones coming up. One happened last night, my History of Papermaking video passed 300 viewings. A good start to the day. Please check it out if you have the time, it is on my YouTube Channel.

While you are checking it out (or not), take a moment to think of my friends and colleagues in China who will never see it. The Chinese Government don't allow them to access YouTube.

I should really start with a thank you to my listeners for the past two days, Jane, Andrew, Norman, Mark, Martin, Ryan, Barry, Tony, Jonny, Ian and Simon. Thanks for being such an interactive bunch, it makes my life a lot easier, and thanks for the great feedback.

This morning I will be filling in their details and sending off the forms to the National Skills Academy MPS, for their Certificates.

Another bit of good news is that they have booked another course for February.

This is a great start to the New Year, three courses delivered in January, three booked in February and maybe a fourth that has not yet been confirmed.

Later today Prison Widow will be visiting, so better get the good coffee and posh biscuits out!

It's Snow Joke

When I was young I lived on the 7th floor of a block of flats. It felt like the group of four blocks were in a hole rather than a valley. To the front and back fields rose steeply. The road between them fell steeply to the bus stop and then rose upwards before swinging to the right.

In winter, buses would carefully slide down from both directions and be unable to climb out.

The drivers and conductors would huddle in groups smoking.

Us children would take the shortcut to school, over the fields, knee deep in snow. I thought that was normal.

When I grew up and started to travel, I found that British were far from normal.

I would sit at the airport and hear the announcement: "Due to the weather conditions all flights have been cancelled until further notice". Followed by: "Finn Air flight AY4321 is now boarding. Please go the gate immediately".

I learned that in Sweden and Finland there was a law that said on November 1st all motor vehicle owners will take off their summer tyres and replace them with their winter tyres. And of course in spring the opposite happened.

We travelled around as normal. No one got stuck, no accidents. It was just a normal drive, except it was sometimes on 6 inches of compacted snow.

When we reached the hotel we parked in front of a little post, took a cable from the front radiator grill and plugged it into the post. Inside the car it was connected to a little fan heater which kept the car warm until we returned in the morning.

One evening we drove out for a pizza and parked the car on some spare land. It was dark, the sun goes down about 3:30pm at that time of the year. There was a car about 100 meters away. Its internal light was on and we could see two people smoking and talking inside.

We left about 10pm. The car was still there. Now the light was off. The windows were steamed up and it was rocking gently!

unintended consequences

It was a long but enjoyable drive yesterday, about 4 hours. As usual I was tuned in to Radio 4

There was a really enjoyable programme at 1.30, just before my favourite ‘Gardeners Question Time’. It was called Quarter Life Crisis. I guess we have all heard of mid-life crisis, well this is half way there, affecting the 20 something’s.

Essentially it was about University Graduates that could not find jobs, but it highlights stupid government policies and how their short term thinking is damaging our whole society.

Today we not only have to hear what the government say, we have to work out what the mean and what they are NOT saying.

They are encouraging everyone they can, to go to university, but why? Is it really to improve the educational level of the whole country, or is it just a ploy to keep the numbers on the unemployment register down?

There are many many jobs where you do not need a degree, Butcher, Baker, Traffic Warden? So Mr Government I have two questions.

1 – If you want everyone to have a degree, then who is going to do the jobs that don’t need degrees?

2 – Having raised everyone’s intellectual capability, and then forced them into jobs well below their aspirations and expectations, what do you think will happen next? I would start off with two guesses, civil unrest and mass depression!

I was lucky, when I was a student, the government paid students to learn. But HEY, wake up government and smell the coffee! What have been the unintentional consequences of your policies?

First you stampede everyone to Uni, and then what – you suddenly realise you can’t support them all! – So you start to charge

Then you realise they can’t all afford to pay, so you offer them loans.

Then you allow the Uni’s to charge what they want, and guess what! Surprise surprise they all charge the maximum they can. Why not? It’s coming from your bottomless coffers?

So what is the consequence of all these debt laden students finishing their course?

Well, for a start, they have £15K+ of debt over their heads. Does that matter? It does if they are trying to get on the housing ladder?

Many of the students can’t get a job at all, so they have no chance of getting a house

Many that get low paid jobs don’t have to pay back the loan yet, because their income is too low. BUT, because it is so low, they do not have enough money to save for a house deposit, let alone make the mortgage repayments.

Those that do earn enough to start paying back the loan are too frightened to take on any more debt, so they don’t buy a house either.

And if there is no one around to buy the cheap ‘first-time-buyer’ homes, then those already in them, can’t sell and move up the housing ladder.

My simple analysis of the situation would lead to the prediction that this government policy will cause a housing problem.

Hey! Guess what! We do have a housing problem! Deja vu ? Or hindsight?

Well let’s carry on and make another prediction

Universities have bloated to suck in all these students and their high fees. So I predict that in the next year or two kids will realise that a future with huge debts and no jobs, is not a future for them. So they will aim for income rather than education. Universities will find themselves with too many financial commitments and too many staff, and they will start to topple too.

Yo Ho Yo Ho Its off to Work we go

Sunday morning and I am preparing to leave around lunch time.

Did you know it took 300 sheep to make a Bible?

This is just one of the myriad of strange facts I will be regurgitation over the next two days.

On Monday and Tuesday I will be delivering a 2-day 'Introduction to Papermaking' course, accreted by the National Skills Academy (Materials Production & Supply). This is one of my favourite short courses. I must have delivered it 50 times, but I am still filled with enthusiasm. Most of the questions I get are the same, but there is usually at least one question that catches me out. Then I learn something too.

Sometimes it is an 'in house' version, aimed at those working on the edge of actual papermaking, maybe office workers such as HR, buying, accounts, sales; or those nearer the machine such as engineers, electrical, store men, effluent treatment or finishing department.

Sometimes it is run as an 'open' course, where we get people from many different companies, paper mills, chemical companies, converters, printers, engineering companies and other end users.

We make this course a lot of fun, have little quizzes to keep the whole thing two-way and interactive, show videos, and we keep them on the move by having them make scale models of fibres.

The best part is, after all this fun and learning, they get a nationally recognised certificate

The purpose of this course is simply to provide an overview of papermaking. To introduce a sort of block diagram of the process of converting a tree to a cardboard box, or a piece of photocopy paper or a £10 note. And of course, to help them understand some of the jargon of papermaking.

Every industry has its own set of words that have their own special meaning, papermaking is no exception.

An example is 'square'. From the age of about 6 upwards we are all taught that a square has four equal sides and four right angles.

But that is not what we mean by square!

Paper is made as a long narrow strip. Most times, when we measure the strength properties of the paper, we will find that it is stronger in the machine direction, than in the cross direction.

When we make it so that the strength properties are the same in BOTH directions, then we say it is a 'square sheet'.

That's enough for now.

Time to pack.

A Chess Tale of a real life Mr Bean

Good snowy Saturday morning to you all

On a more light hearted note than yesterday, I was reminiscing the other day about my involvement in the chess world, and the strange creatures that inhabit it.

One guy, that I will tell you about here, could have been the Mr Bean before the Mr Bean character was invented by the magnificent Rowan Atkinson

I joined Bolton Chess club at about the age of 17, at the time six of the seven England players played for the club, so I soon learned I was nowhere near as good as I thought I was. Later, the club attracted a couple of children, Nigel Short and David Norwood, that went on to become Grand Masters. So it is no wonder i drifted towards the admin side of Chess.

In this instance that I am recalling now, I was refereeing a big open tournament at Owen's Park, one of the Halls of Residence for Manchester University.

As I was sorting out all the pairing cards for the first round, I saw one particular name, I had never met the guy, but his reputation went before him! He was a strange one.

As the players started to enter the hall, I recognised most of them. Then I saw him! It must be him I thought!

He was wearing a knitted top at least 3 sizes too big, with a big hole about where his belly button should be. Loose strands of wool dangled, I was sure it would grow as the day went on. His trousers were equally baggy, they looked like they had been made out of black lining material, and just tacked together, never completely finished. And in place of a zip, or fly buttons, he had a single large safety pin.

He had a bag slung over his shoulder, out of which protruded the end of a long baguette.

The games began, silence fell, and the pressing of the chess clock buttons became the dominant sound.

As I wandered between the tables I was mentally preparing myself for when his opponent complained. I determined not to be too far away from his table.

Then it began!

They had played about 10 moves, and his opponent was pouring over the board, head in his hands.My target withdrew the baguette from his bag, as if he was unsheathing a sword. Then he started to tear off equal size pieces and place them in a row on the spare bit of table immediately between him and the board.

His opponent moved, five or six moves were exchanged and again his opponent resumed his thinking position.

This was the time to dive back into the bag, and pull out a brand new pack of foil wrapped butter, which he carefully opened. He then took each piece of torn bread in turn, rubbed one side vigorously up and down the surface of the butter, and carefully placed it back in its original position, buttered side up.

They exchanged another few moves, and his opponents head returned to its home, between his hands  above the board.

My target continued to assemble his picnic. The hand went into the bag again, and out came a tub of pate. Then, as carefully and as mechanically as he had carried out his buttering operation, two fingers were plunged into the pate, and the lump that was scooped out was scraped onto the bread which he held in his other hand.

Before his opponents next move, he was able to complete his mission, return the pate container to his bag and start his meal.

Sadly I cannot remember the result.

I have a small collection of such chess anecdotes, this was the longest. I will save the rest for another time.

Lenovo computers

Good morning all,

I want a favour from you all, I want this particular Blog to go viral, because I am personally pissed with the service I received from both STAPLES, and from LENOVO

So please, recommend it, re-Blog it, re-tweet it, re-facebook it. Lets see how many hits we can get

We bought an all-in-one computer just before Christmas, It worked great for about 21 days, and now the screen fades and flashes like crazy and we cannot see a thing.

We tried to talk to  Staples, as it was 'not fit for purpose' They refused to have anything to do with it, and said we must contact Lenovo.

Lenovo technical support told us that their computers have a problem with Windows 8, after the latest update. They talked us through doing a 'reset to factory conditions' which lost us all the programs we had bought.  Now it is doing it again, 2 days later.

Lessons?

Stay away from the Lenovo brand until they can announce and demonstrate they have solved the Windows 8 problem

Staples need to take some personal responsibility for the products they sell, and maybe have a big shake-up in their buying department !

DO YOU KNOW - That on the Lenovo facebook page , there are about 50 screens of complaints

Lets see which of these two companies is the first to respond with a credible solution.

I will keep you all informed

Thanks for all your help

Horsing Around

So, one of our supermarkets has found somewhere around 29% horse meat in their value burgers!

People in the UK stopped eating horse meat around 1930. In some countries, like France it is a delicacy.  According to Wikipedia the top 8 horse eating countries consume 4.7 million horses each year. 

Being British, I have to see the funny side of everything. I hope you all like these few quick quips , courtesy of my Facebook friends and others.

The wife just made me a burger and asked if I want anything on it? 
I said "go on then, make it a fiver each way"!!

I just went to the fridge to check my burgers. And they’re off !

I wonder if these burgers will give me the trots?

HEALTH NOTICE Don’t leave your burgers out of the freezer furlong!

If the burgers give you any problems, you may end up at the horsepital

The wife just made me a burger and asked: Would you like flies with that?

Excuse me, I’m a vegetarian, do you have any UniQuorn burgers?

After eating that burger I felt terrible, but I’m stable now

A little rant

Hi all, two of the class were missing today, because they were covering for sick colleagues. We had a great day, a test, my talking, and a tour of the water treatment plant, lunch, some more talking by me, and then a trip to another mill.  This mill makes security paper.

I was lucky, almost everyone I had taught at that mill happened to be on that shift today. What made me feel good, was that it was an unexpected surprise to bump into a few of them that were genially happy to see me. What made the experience great, was that others, from my old courses, actually went out of their way to come and find me and say hello. It gave me a warm glow, and made me feel that all that preparation work, that no-one sees, before the classes, was worthwhile. I must have done something right to engender this respect.

Before the day started, I was watching the news.  I was impressed by the Bradshaw family, on the news. They are trying to live a whole year by only buying British.

Whether they are British, or American, or Greek, I fully support their idea. If you want YOUR country to survive then buy stuff made in your country, by your people, that pay tax to your government.

Don’t whinge about the unemployment in your country if you buy foreign stuff?

Every time you buy a product from another country, THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES

It deprives one of your own countrymen of a job

It gives a job to a person in the country that you are complaining about

Because of economies of scale it makes all the other stuff of that kind, more expensive to produce in your country, and cheaper to make in their country

Questions questions questions

Today I am writing my first blog away from home. The course runs 2 days a month for 5 months; this session is the third of the five.AS I have mentioned in earlier blogs, the 2-day session covers incoming water and water loops within the mill, sheet formation, and effluent.

Currently I am perched on a wooden stool with my laptop on the dressing table, and slurping a mug of instant Nescafe in an attempt to jolt me into activity.

I will start the day with a test for them, so I am toying with the idea of putting some of the questions on here, just to see if any of them do read this blog, as they say they do.

Yes, I think I will, so, people here are three of your morning questions;

In which stage is effluent polished?

Where do we measure HRT?

What is the Mogden formula used for?

I have just been checking the views on my papermaking videos, 1763 at the moment. I am longing for it to get to 2000 so that I can tweet it and get a bit more publicity.

Mistakes are an Opportunity to Learn

It's hard to imagine, but there was a time that we did not have cardboard boxes! "So how did we get our cornflakes ?", I can hear you asking. Simple, they came in a 'waxtite' bag, that is, a bag made from paper that had been impregnated with wax. The wax was a great moisture proof barrier, and so the cereal kept nice and crunchy. Sadly however, the bag did not have very much mechanical strength and could not prevent the cereal from getting crushed.

Then one day came the great announcement - The cardboard box has been invented. The cereal manufacturers instantly saw the value in this new invention, it could offer protection to their delicate flakes and stop them being crushed.

So guess what they did?

They put their cornflakes in the new cardboard box. And they put the box INSIDE the bag!

If you don't believe me just have a look at the Kellogg's Company History. When you land on their page, go to 1914.

They even positioned the word TOASTED so that the tops of the letter 'T' could be used by the housewife as a a guide to where to cut the bag to make a replaceable lid.

Some years later, they saw the error of their ways, and decided to put the bag INSIDE the box, as we have it now.


I will end with another one of my trusty quotes

A person who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new - Albert Einstein

Paper; what strange stuff

Have you ever thought about cigarette paper? In the mill where I used to work we made over 100 grades of the stuff.

What do you think the paper has to do? Hold the tobacco together? yes, but what else? Well one thing, it has to burn at the same rate as the tobacco inside it. If it burns too quickly, it will burn faster than the tobacco and eventually the ignited tip will fall off and burn a hole in your trousers, or dress or blanket. If the paper burns too slowly, the 'coal' of the cigarette will not get enough oxygen, and it will go out, so you will have to keep relighting it.

When you draw deeply on a cigarette, the coal can get up to about 1400 C (or just over 2500 F). No wonder they can do so much damage.

The paper also controls the type of ash you see on a cig. Some chemicals, on the cheaper brands, produce a very particulate, fly-away type of ash. The smooth talking suits don't really want their expensive immaculate image to be less than perfect, so they will buy a more expensive cigarette. The paper on the expensive cigs contains a different set of chemicals. These chemicals make the ash very hard and clingy, its a bit more difficult to knock it off into the ash tray, and of course it stays off the suits!

So now, when you are sat opposite a designer suited smoker, you can make a bit of a judgement about their character. Are they a designer through and through with a cigarette to match their suit? Or are they a cheapskate in a designer suit?

Paper is all around us, but how may of us give it a second thought? It can bring us good news, if we get a cheque from the government, bad news if its a bill or parking ticket, sad news if it is the death certificate of a loved one or it can make us hold our breath if we are clutching a lottery ticket and all the numbers that have been drawn so far are ours!

More paper pondering to come in the future

The Advantage of Knowing Nothing

I had a great start to my day, Whilst the house was quiet, I dipped into one of my favourite books, "The Art of Scientific Investigation". Written by William Ian Beardmore Beveridge in 1953. It has never failed to inspire me. It is filled with inspirational quotes and tales, giving an insight to how some of the greatest scientific advances of the day were made.

The one I like most particularly comes from Bessemer, the inventor of the Bessemer Converter, a means of making cheap steel. He said,

"I had an immense advantage over others  dealing with the problem inasmuch as I had no fixed ideas derived from long established practice to control and bias my mind, and did not suffer from the general belief that whatever is, is right".

In other words, I knew nothing about the manufacture of iron and steel when I started on this problem.

If you give your self time to think about this, it is so true. We are trained by 'experts' who are specialists in their field. They don't just teach us the facts, they teach us how to think. They teach us how to think, and how not to think. They point our minds in what they see as fruitful directions, and away from what they consider to be be less useful directions. 

When we are released from the academic world, we follow the paths that have been pointed out to us. Every small advance we make, reinforces in us, the assumption that our mentors were right. Every small advance we make encourages us to keep going in that direction, and leaves us with less time to explore the avenues we were told to avoid. We will never know, is it really a dead end or could it lead to a giant advance? 

From Mind Mapping to 'Systems'

Today was a mixed day. We started off by attending school assembly where my wife led the children in greeting their Chinese visitor in Chinese. As we left the school later, and walked past the children, now in the playground, many children ran up to the fence and repeated the Chinese for 'Thank you' and 'Goodbye'.  All the children were really enthusiastic, and we are now thinking, is there a business opportunity here? Could there be a demand for some private Mandarin classes?

Later I did a little Mind Mapping. The software has improved greatly with their last upgrade which allows a presentation to be exported as a video.

The final piece of jigsaw for the day is form-filling. My least favourite job! I am planning to become an examination centre, and as you can imagine, there is just a huge amount of paperwork to be generated. I need to provide not just the expected data, but policies for this and strategies for that, not to mention 'systems' I think I am going to have a very taxing weekend.

To Assume makes an ASS of U and ME

Slowly I am getting used to this Blogging. Now when I sit in front of the computer I am no longer surrounded with yellow post-its, that I have collected over the last 24 hours. I am feeling 'at one' with the task. My hope is that it will now evolve from being a task, and become a pleasure.

I can tell that I am more comfortable, because I have reverted to using one of my favourite bits of software, a speech recognition package by the name of ‘Dragon NaturallySpeaking’. I love to use this software, but I have to be very careful, when, I use it. It is no problem when the children are at school, but when they are at home that’s another story!

Both children have my cruel and warped sense of humour, and when they hear me dictating, they love to burst in and talk to me as loud as possible, on one pretext or another, just to see if they can make their words appear on my screen.

On the topic of children, last night, and this morning was filled with trepidation. Our son came home from school with a message from the headmaster. The message was, “I would like to see you first thing tomorrow morning”.

Throughout the rest of the evening I asked both children the same question, in ten different ways, "How was your day", "Did you enjoy school today", Did you have any problems today". I was really asking “what did you do wrong today my little darlings?”

The good news is, it was nothing to do with the children at all. The school is having a Chinese visitor tomorrow, and the headmaster would like my wife to go in this afternoon and teach a group of children a few Chinese phrases.

So that is another lesson learned, don’t assume!

Paper An Elegy

Yesterday was one of those great days when nothing could go wrong.

An effortless drive into the centre of Manchester to see my accountant was only bettered by finding an empty parking space immediately outside his office. It was almost a pleasure to pay the £2.70 an hour parking fee to Manchester City Council.

The day got even better when he pointed out an item that I had not claimed for, was in fact, deductible.

Arrived home to find the postman had delivered a Christmas present from Mr Toft, a book, “PAPER an Elegy”, by Professor Ian Sansom.

Before I even opened it, I was in ecstasy, no run of the mill glossy cover for this cellulosic treasure, instead, a tactile adventure to whet the appetite.

There are 12 chapters, shall I gorge myself and read it at one sitting, with pots of coffee and plates of biscuits, or prolong the pleasure as much as I can, and take in, maybe, just one chapter at a time? Decisions, decisions!

Yesterday somehow became filled with too many pleasurable distractions, including sending out my first invoice of the year.

I did not get around finishing the notes on water and effluent. I really DO have to do that today.

Things should be as simple as possible, but no simpler

The title of today's Blog is a quote from Einstein.

I was roundly reminded of it last night when I tried to help my 8 year old with his numeracy homework, which I have reproduced below!

If you wish, have a go at it yourself before reading on

My error was classic, I was thinking far too deeply about the problem. I read the question and was instantly mesmerised by the term 'addition square'.

I dived straight into Google sorted out the difference between 'addition squares' and 'magic squares', decided that these were not magic squares and delved deeply into 'addition squares'.

But then, there was something wrong, In all the examples, there was another set of figures to the right of each row, and below each column. In some examples all these numbers were present, in others, some were missing.

Should the bottom row and right hand column be these external figures?
Had the teacher forgotten to include them?
Had my son been verbally given these values and forgotten?
Was there an error in the publication?

I told my son not to worry about it, there was an error in the question which made it impossible to answer, so he should forget it!

But I do like to cover all my bases, and put the puzzle on Facebook with an appeal.

Within minutes, James was the first to mail me the answer, Thank you James.

The problem was so so simple.

Add the number in the left hand column to the number at the top of the row, and put the answer where the two intersect. So 5 + 9 = 14, the 14 goes immediately below the 9. Using the same mechanism, 18 goes below 13. Now the last row is already filled in for us, 35, but the number at the top of the column is missing. 5 + what = 35? 30 of course, so that goes in the top right hand square.

I am continually repeating to the attendees on my course - the simple approach is always the best - go for the simple method first.

And I fell into that very same trap.

The lesson ?

Never be complacent, there is always value in refresher courses, even if it is just to bring you back down to earth!

Education involves repetition

A lot of education is about repetition. You can't just tell someone a fact once, and expect them to remember it.

You have to tell them in different ways.There are many techniques for telling them in different ways, simply repeating what you have said, looking at a picture, making a drawing, showing a video or animation, and the best of all telling a personal story.

There is an old adage about how to give a presentation, it goes:

• Tell them what you are going to tell them
• Tell them
• Tell them what you told them

I often use this technique when giving courses that last for more than one day, but I do it in a 'hidden' way

I start off by giving them a quiz covering the topics I will be talking about (telling them what I'm going to tell them)

Over the next two or more days I give my lectures (telling them)

At the end of the course I give them the same quiz (telling them what I have told them)

I have found this way a great technique for getting the main points over at least three times in addition to the repetition techniques I use during the course.

Another advantage of this is that it gives instant feedback to the recipients with regard to how much they have improved, and without identifying individuals, I'm able to give the bulk marks for the initial and final tests to those that commissioned my course. From this data they are able to see that the people attending the course have actually picked up some information. From the low marks achieved in the initial test, they can also see that they have put the right people on the course.

Today I have three main jobs,

• finish reviewing and updating the Water and Effluent notes
• write 15 questions for my introductory quiz
• check that all the paperwork for my accounts is present and correct. I have an appointment with the accountant tomorrow

Today is the last day of the school holidays. Kids need to finish their homework! Uniforms and PE kits need to be laid out and bagged up ready for the morning.

Coffee or Kopi?

This morning I am relaxing with one of my favourite drinks. I call it Coffee Tobruk although its proper name is Kopi Tobruk.

It is made with a strong Java blend; given to me on my recent visit to Indonesia. Kopi Tobruk is made simply by pouring just boiled water over a good spoonful of this wonderful aromatic coffee and giving it a good stir. Next comes the hard part, waiting 4-5 minutes for all the coffee grounds to settle to the bottom before sipping this black nectar.

If you want to read more about Kopi Tobruk, just follow the link to WikiHow

What a morning! The rain has stopped, the sun is just coming up, but sadly i cannot see it because of the thick fog. The household is quiet as everyone else is still asleep. It’s just me, the aroma and the dogs at my feet.

What do I like best at this time of year? The darts have started at The Lakeside.

Weekend, Water & Effluent

Well this is my first weekend Blog. I debated with myself, should I stick to Monday - Friday Blogs, or really take up the challenge and take ‘daily’ literally. As you can see I have taken up the challenge.

The shopping has been done, breakfast served, pots in the dishwasher, back garden swept and the children are out playing with their friends. The house is quiet.

This is one of the problems of working from home. There is always the temptation to pop upstairs to the ‘office’ and look through the notes for the next course.

Whenever I run a course, I always make notes about the comments and feedback received throughout the day. I then amend my notes accordingly ready to be printed off for the next session. I like this idea of an evolving living set of notes, rather than a bulk print run which can be handed out for the next five or ten years. I feel rather like an artist, who is never quite satisfied with his painting, there are always improvements, modifications, or changes to be made.

The notes I was looking over this morning concerned ‘Water and Effluent’

By ‘water’ I am referring to both the incoming raw water and how it is managed before it is passed to the machines, and the water loops that we find in papermaking systems, along with the problems and techniques that are associated with managing loops.

Effluent is another story. Sadly the attitude of many mills is – We are here to make paper not to make effluent.

Consequently, the area is poorly managed, underfunded, and whoever is left to run it, becomes isolated and forgotten about. I once heard a comment (outside of the UK), that the effluent plant was a great place to put people that ‘didn't fit in'.

Luckily, we are becoming more enlightened about effluent. It can be turned into biogas, which can be burned and turned into electricity which can be sold to the national grid. This can become so profitable, papermaking becomes a secondary activity.

And never forget – If the effluent plant stops, so must production!

First Courses of the Year

Today I have taken down last year’s wall planner and replaced it with 2013, filed away my 2012 diary and installed my new one for 2013. The really boring bit was transferring all the bookings from the back of my 2012 diary onto the wall planner. This is all the 'back room stuff' that is essential to the smooth running of a business, but no-one sees it going on.

There is something very satisfying about swivelling round on my chair and seeing all those little coloured dots on the planner. I can see that the business is definitely safe for another year. This is a thought not all business people or employees are lucky enough to have at this time of the year. I get the feeling that someone up there is looking after me! On the other hand, repeat business could be just because I am good at what I do?

The first course of the year is a nice easy 2-day session. It is module 3 of the Front Line Managers Technical Programme, (FLMTP), one of a stable of courses offered by +Tim Watts.

This course encompasses all the technical parts of the Machineman Development Programme, (MDP), and in some areas, goes deeper. Its aim is to make the senior managers aware of what their people on the MDP have been exposed to, and to help them prepare for the searching questions that may now be asked, and the practices that may now be challenged.

The second course is one of my favourites, it is a 2-day introduction to papermaking, or as we have formally titled it, ‘Orientation Course in Papermaking’. 

Its aim is to be friendly and fun, while getting across the broad concepts of papermaking and to provide an understanding of the jargon used by Papermakers.

The course is aimed at those new to the industry, and those on the periphery of actual papermaking, so, engineers, accountants, sales, buying, HR, suppliers and customers. This course is accredited by the National Skills Academy (MPS), and so all attendees receive a nice shiny Certificate.

The Operating Manual

Well I am happy to report that I completed MOST, of the tasks I set myself yesterday. It felt good to get the important one 'ticked off', (the VAT).

However I was led astray when I delved into a book that came in the collection donated to me by Bury College. Its title?

PAPER MACHINE CREW OPERATING MANUAL

This was published by Lockwood Trade Journal in 1961 and was the 'Papermakers Bible' for the industry in the USA.It is 236 pages of pure joy.

Today I will share with you just a little from Chapters 18 & 19, which relate to the duties of the various machine crew members.

It starts with the top man - the Boss Machine Tender. Number 16 of his 17 listed duties is ' Training the help under him to be skilful and good workmen'. Other duties include the 'trimming sewing and patching' of wires and wet felts.

I will not bore you with any more detail at this point, I will just leave you with the fact that the remainder of this chapter, and the next, go on to list the duties of the;

Machine Tender
Back Tender
Third Hand
Fourth Hand
Fifth Hand
Sixth Hand

The duties of the 6 th hand was essentially to keep the floor clean and remove bits of broke from the machine, and know the work and duties of the 4th and 5th hands

At this point, i will leave you to ponder just how things have changed!

Visit to Romiley Board

Dec 20,

Kate Leach and I visited Romiley Board this morning. What a great place and such friendly and enthusiastic people!

This company makes solid board from recycled fibre

Other types of board made in the UK are solid board made from virgin fibre, and corrugated board, made from recycled fibre.

Romiley Board use vat formers, and have an interesting site, as it is bisected by a public road.

It is the first time i have visited this site, but i am looking forward to returning.

January 2

Well good morning world, here we begin a new venture.

The family demanded a McDonald's breakfast to start the day. No-one wanted to accompany me though! So I was cast out in the rain to drive down to the Walkden McD's for sausage McMuffins and Bagels. Got myself a large black coffee.

The plan for today is

• Finish my VAT return, (cut off date is the 7 th) 
• Do an outline design for a website aimed at Papermaking Apprentices
• Finish my annual accounts so that i can contact my accountant tomorrow
• Supervise my son as he carries out some experiments from his 'Boom Bang & Fizzes' Experiment kit, which he got for Christmas.
• Read Tim Watt's first Newsletter of 2013
• Try and make contact with Graham Toft, who has not been responding to my texts or emails since a week before Christmas. I wonder if he is still alive?

As I look around my office, I'm not sure if I am viewing the aftermath of a hurricane,  the result of being burgled and vandalised, or could it be, that this is how i really work? Every horizontal surface is covered in little piles of 'absolutely essential material that must be kept close to hand', because that is what I will need next!

The floor is my new filing cabinet, just hoping the dogs do not decide it makes nice warm bedding, or worse still, pee on it.

What's the betting that by the end of the week, i have to play hop scotch to get to and from my work station?

Well, writing this has helped to delay the start of the VAT exercise, but i can't put it off for ever.

see you tomorrow.